A lot of Singaporeans and foreigners alike create fond memories in Singapore when they watch the Marina Bay Sands Light and Water Show. I have seen couples share a kiss and sweet moments. I have seen couples strolling along the river holding hands. I have seen romantic moments shared at the backdrop of spectacular lights.

I can’t help but reminisce now as I walk around this area again. Unlike those couples I have seen, my memories here are far from romantic. It was where my first boyfriend broke up with me. It’s been years since and I’ve moved on. But I recall how tough going through a break up is. So I want to share my personal tips to help others get over their own break ups.

Cry your heart out but set a timeline

It’s ok to shed tears for the lost relationship. Go let it out. It’s better to express what you’re truly feeling than keep them all in. But while you’re at it, tell yourself (and be strict about this) to stop crying for your ex at one point. Set a deadline when your last tears shall fall. Set a deadline when you shall start living your life again. This will be your code to live by for now. It’s true that time heals but you have to help yourself, too.

Create a distance and start your own world

This will be difficult but you have to do this. Stop seeing or communicating with your ex. Delete whatever numbers, contacts, or social media accounts that lead you to him. Put away pictures and stuff that will only bring back memories. Turn away from anything that will only make the situation worse. Start creating your new daily routine where you can keep yourself occupied on other worthwhile stuff. Practice living life without him again.

Go out with friends and family and try to have fun

There is love lost but there are still those that remain. This is the best time to experience (and remind yourself) how much your family and friends cherish and love you. Avoid being alone if you can and surround yourself with people who make you feel loved. Go out with friends just like you used to before you had a boyfriend. Allow yourself to have fun.

Write if you can

Writing can be a form of therapy so keeping a journal may help boost your healing process. Pour your heart out as you write and be as honest as you can be. There can be a lot of things you’ll learn about yourself as you write. Keeping a record of this difficult time may inspire you later on when you’ve already recovered – because you will. You’ll realize how strong you are. You can take on anything the world throws at you.

Focus on positive things

Indulge yourself in positive literature – self-help books, articles, motivational videos, motivational quotes, etc. Surround yourself with positive people and avoid those who are otherwise. You’re most vulnerable when you’re hurting and sometimes it’s your own negative thoughts that bring you down. So focus only on the positive stuff. Visualize yourself getting over the pain and becoming the woman you want to be.